


Playing with Fire

by RoseThorne



Series: Collège Françoise Dupont salt [5]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bustier salt, Emotional Support Crocodile, F/F, Gen, Good Chloé Bourgeois, Lila salt, Podfic Welcome, Principal Damocles salt, Uncle Jagged Stone (Miraculous Ladybug)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 09:41:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21509005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseThorne/pseuds/RoseThorne
Summary: Lila tries to break up Kitty Section. It doesn't go as planned. Salty.
Relationships: Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant
Series: Collège Françoise Dupont salt [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605193
Comments: 64
Kudos: 1734





	Playing with Fire

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own or make money from Miraculous Ladybug.

_She's got a history of making a scene, yeah_

_She's telling stories she’s gaslighting_

-The Interrupters

“Are you sure it’s… _appropriate_ for an older boy like Luka to be in Kitty Section?”

Marinette froze in the middle of taking a bite of a croissant as Lila’s words floated across the courtyard, her mind filled suddenly with the desire to shriek at the liar, even knowing that would backfire as it always did. She wanted to defend Luka. If Adrien was here rather than at a photo shoot, he’d see Lila was actually trying to hurt people with this. 

She barely realized she’d stopped breathing until she started coughing, and that nearly sent the bite of food down the wrong tube. By the time she’d recovered, she had missed any response from the present members of Kitty Section, and Lila was talking again.

“I’m just _concerned_ , is all. I’ve told you I’m like Jagged Stone’s favorite person, right? I know a few people in the industry, really. And some of the execs just don’t sign bands if there’s such a big age gap between members. Like you three and Luka.”

Marinette put down the croissant, trying to build her courage. She could defend Luka.

“But Luka’s Juleka’s brother,” Rose said, looking concerned.

“Yeah, that can look even weirder.”

Marinette started to stand up, but then she caught a Look that passed between the couple. At times they were so in sync it was scary. 

Juleka glanced her way, shook her head minutely, and quirked a half-smirk as though to say, _We got this._

“You must have worked with some amazing people, Lila!” Rose gushed. 

Her admiration sounded just a touch off, but Lila was too busy preening to notice. 

“I have. Clara Nightingale texts me all the time.”

“Oh, I have an idea,” Juleka said, her voice faux shy. “I-I mean, if you don’t mind? Like can we try guessing the artists you know? Like a game?”

Lila’s smile widened. “Oh, that sounds like so much fun!”

Marinette carefully kept her face blank, picking at her croissant and ignoring the pitying look Alya sent her way from her seat beside Lila. It wouldn’t do to give the game away.

Ivan’s expression had also gone blank, as though he too knew what was up and wanted to see what happened. 

“Oh! I have one. 30 Seconds to Mars?” Rose asked.

Lila shook her head. “No, but I know their producer.”

“What about My Chemical Romance?” It was Juleka’s turn. 

“Yeah, they’re a silly bunch,” Lila said with a giggle. “I dated the lead singer for a few months. We’re still friends.”

Marinette had to stop herself from snorting—like an artist in his 40s was going to date a teenager! But clearly Lila only knew the band name and that they were popular among teens. 

But apparently the game wasn’t over, and Rose made another guess. In the next three minutes, Lila told them all about three songs written for her and exotic concert venues. Some of the smiles of their classmates were becoming a bit forced as they recognized band names and knew more about them than the liar. Marinette knew enough about music to know that every single band they’d named had sibling members.

“The Carpenters?” Juleka eventually asked.

By the way Lila’s face brightened, Marinette could guess she definitely knew they were famous and would make a great story.

“Oh my gosh, we’re so close! I helped them write some of the lyrics for their most recent album!”

Alya made a choking noise, and while trying not to crack up Marinette realized the girl had finally caught one of the lies. 

Chloé was suddenly hissing in her ear, “Put the call on speaker when it rings,” before she moved toward the stairs to the classroom. 

Marinette glanced at her suspiciously, but was immediately drawn back to the show when Juleka crossed her arms and laughed.

The smile on Lila’s face faltered for a moment, before returning with a look of confusion. “Did I say something funny?”

“Their last album came out in 1981, so unless you’re secretly like 50 years old pretending to be a teenager like I’m guessing you’ve pretended everything else, it’s _hilarious_ ,” Juleka drawled loudly, her shyness momentarily absent in her glee.

In the stunned silence, during which Lila’s face twitched and turned an interesting array of colors, Marinette’s phone rang.

The screen read _Uncle Jagged_.

Marinette blinked, suddenly realizing what Chloé had meant, and—

Chloé had gotten Jagged to call her?!

She answered the call, putting it on speaker. “Um, hello?”

“Marinette! Where’s the fire?! Drive faster, Penny!” He sounded almost frantic.

“Fire?” She asked.

“I heard my favorite niece is having an emergency. What’s wrong?”

“I’m just at school, _Uncle Jagged_ ,” she said, putting emphasis on his name and taking joy in how Lila’s face turned a mottled white. “Having lunch and a show. Are you in Paris?”

“The school? Penny, she’s at the school.” Jagged’s voice was distant as he talked to his assistant, then came back full force. “Hang tight. Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny are coming. Clara’s here, too!”

The line went dead.

Lila stood abruptly. “Oh, I just remembered, I need to—”

Ivan put his hands on her shoulders gently, suddenly behind her. “Sit.”

The Italian’s eyes darted around the table, finding no sympathy. She sat. Ivan kept his hands on her shoulders, not quite menacing.

Chloé’s laugh rang out from above, and Marinette glanced up to see that the blonde had M. Damocles and Mme. Bustier in tow.

“What is it you need us to see, Mlle. Bourgeois?” the principal demanded. “We were enjoying lunch.”

Jagged sprinted through the entrance, Fang on a leash and easily keeping up. “Marinette! I came right away!”

“M. Stone!” M. Damocles sounded a bit strangled. “You cannot bring that… creature on school property!”

“Can so. Fang’s my emotional support crocodile!”

Penny trotted up from behind him and handed a slip of paper to the principal.

Clara was behind Penny, looking concerned as she approached. “Marinette, are you unwell? I hear for us you’ve a tale to tell.”

Marinette’s face grew warm. “I’m okay, Clara. I’m not sure why Jagged thought there was an emergency.”

Chloé let out an irritated huff. “Because there _was_. The entire class was being seduced by a liar’s pretty stories, and that _thot_ was bullying you.”

Jagged let out an outraged string of what sounded like they could be curse words if they were pronounced in a non-Cockney accent. 

Eventually he scanned the courtyard. “Okay, which of you has been bullying my niece? It’s time for Fang’s lunch, anyway.”

“We don’t have the paperwork to cover that, Jagged,” Penny commented, though she too was leveling a hard stare at the students. 

“Bullying certainly isn’t cool. Why was it allowed in this school?” Clara took a seat next to Marinette, taking one of her hands. “You of all people deserve much better: why, you’re a wonderful budding trend-setter.”

A lump was forming in Marinette’s throat; she’d spent so long being strong while all of this had been going on, figuring no one would believe her. But _Chloé_ , of all people, had brought in the cavalry.

Juleka was the one to finally answer Jagged, pointing at Lila. “She’s the one. Just tried to convince me to kick my own brother out of our band and claimed she helped the Carpenters write their last album.”

Jagged studied Juleka for a moment. “You’re Anarka’s kid, yeah? ’Course you’ve got a band. Music’s in your blood.”

Then he turned to Lila. “So what other tall tales has this one been making up?”

Nathaniel opened his sketchbook. “That she’s best friends with Ladybug, has arthritis, got tinnitus saving your kitten from a runaway airplane, you wrote a song about her—“

“A kitten? A song? I’ve never seen that brat in all my life.”

“I mean, there’s more. But she also told us that Clara texts her all the time earlier.”

Clara’s expression turned stormy. “Using my name to borrow fame? I truly think you have no shame! The rest of this class needn’t lie, for they’ve all danced at my side!”

“She was pretending to be in Achu when we participated in your music video, Mlle. Nightingale,” Rose offered softly. “She’s also claimed to know Prince Ali, but I bet if I texted him right now we’d learn that’s a lie, too.”

Chloé scoffed, turning to M. Damocles and Mme. Bustier. “Did you even look into her claims about being in Achu, or having disabilities?”

The principal stuttered an excuse, while their teacher turned pale. 

“It seems the school has dropped the ball. Her parents they should try to call.”

Lila chose that moment to push away from the table and out of Ivan’s reach, fleeing from the school as though her ugly-ass romper was on fire.

Marinette sighed. Volpina, take three, was likely on the horizon. 

But as her classmates gathered around her apologizing, Alya sitting beside her and hugging her, she could feel it was all going to be okay.

Especially if she got to smack Lila around a little when she was akumatized. 

_I’m a match, she’s kerosene_

_You know she’s gonna burn down everything_

_She’s an arsonist in her pastime_

_And I’ve been burned for the last time_

-The Interrupters

**Author's Note:**

> Had this stuck in my head as an idea. There’s been a trope of Luka being kicked out of Kitty Section because of Lila pulling something like this. Except I don’t think she’d get that far with it.
> 
> Also, every time I hear this song it makes me think of Lila.


End file.
